16 things

Directions:

Once you’ve been tagged, you have to write a note with 16 random things, shortcomings, facts, habits or goals about you. At the end choose 16 people to be tagged. Okay, you don't HAVE to do this but it's fun.


1. peanut butter really does taste good with tomato or pickles

2. i dream of one day doing something really crazy like skydiving

3. there are some people in my life whom i could not live without

4. one day i would like to fall "in" love and get married and have a whole family of cats, dogs, and horses
(no kids)

5. i will meet said person in california while i live there for a summer at least

6. i think of myself as selfish and self-centered on the inside i just hide it well

7. i love college life

8. i hate christmas because of the music and having to wrap presents

9. i have a lot of secrets that i tell no one, but wish someone wanted to hear

10. a goal in my life is to save another, even if it kills me

11. sometimes im more afraid of living than dying, although the dark is my biggest fear, i have panic attacks in the dark sometimes

12. dont know what im doing with my life even when i day i do, dont even know if i wanna finish or go back to school

13. i wish i could have long hair again

14. im not sure if i remember who i am cause im always trying to act like someone else, i might have multiple personalities cause i have one for each group of friends

15. i have a habit of falling for the wrong kinda people

16. i thrive off of drama no matter how many times i say i dont

decisions

so now i am faced with a decision to make. do i fight for my right to go back to school or do i give in and try to find a way to move on at home. i miss my college friends terribly cause i never really had any friends at home there are not as many to miss. plus the newest crush is at school whom I'm determined to win over. this may seem like an impossible feet but i think i can manage. so the real dilemma i face is whether i want to continue schooling right away. i would love to continue at delval but don't know if i can afford it. on the other hand i might not be able to go back because of my grades and not having a place to live. if i can get everything figured out and get back onto campus there is still going to be the challenge of grades. maybe i should transfer to hacc for a year to get my gpa back up then go back to delval. that might work. if i do that i can work and go to school and when i have a better gpa i can go back the school of my choice. and hey now that i think about it the place i want to live in not that far from hacc maybe like ten minutes. it works out perfect. now my only problem is convincing rin she wants me to live there...

update

hello again my non existent readers, life has been crazy since my last chapter. And you know what that means.... yes..... it is possible......more drama. i think drama is just drawn to me. a couple weeks ago a couple friends and I were bored crazy and had the not so brilliant idea to try and find a place to drink. as it turns out we were not so great at that. so i had the brilliant idea to bring something back after thanksgiving break for a little after finals partayyy... again not a great idea but whateves. a week goes by and my roommate doesn't say a word then one night i decided to have just a little drink and she had a shit fit going on about where did i get it and all of this kinda stuff. after a minute though she calmed down and i left. the next night the same thing happened and this time without even saying anything to me she turned me into the ra annie. so now I'm in a whole shit load of trouble without a shovel to dig myself out. first i was given a 500 dollar fine, put on probation, mandated to alcohol awareness classes, and an online assignment about alcohol. but no that's not nearly all my friends... no no no... i was also kicked out of student housing thanks to that lovely contract i signed a few short weeks ago. and the icing on the cake is that I've failed not one but two of my "bullshit" 1 credit classes which lowered my gpa to a bad place. meaning I've lost my scholarship possibly. which also means that i might not be able to continue at delval due to not having enough money to cover tuition. oh but wait now that I think about it there are sprinkles on this cake i call life, and they're called mom. telling my mother all of this is going to be like torture. she will never let me forget this, how i fucked everything up and ruined my life according to her. maybe this isn't the end though, maybe this is only the beginning of something better. ha like that would ever happen, my life as i know it is over. after thinking about all of this I've come to one conclusion..... the problem is me. in every problem that i face the only negative component in me. solution... remove me from the equation, in other words don't be me be someone else. maybe if I'm someone else my bad luck will skip over me and ill land in some good news for a change. I'm open to advice at this point cause obviously everything I've tried has failed as of now so if you have read this and feel like leaving you two sense please do so. all comments are welcome, don't be shy now...